10 tips on losing weight fast.

A holistic technique for men only.®
Professor Stefan Kostianev, DM, PhD

1. Place the TV set as farther away from the freezer as possible. Better even locate them in different apartments.


2. Put the lift out of order and replace your hall wall paper with pictures of fat people. Put more psychological pressure on yourself by hanging a pair of pants at a conspicuous place in your bedroom.


3. Include a substantial amount of fibres in your diet. Now you will have to spend enough time in the toilet to elaborate on the strategy to fight overweight, the sedentary life style, and stress.


4. Drink beer instead of eating bread. This will boost your self-esteem and encourage you to take the next step by watching out several football matches on the TV one after the other without feeling any compunctions because they are contraindicated for you.


5. Purchase the little Mouk’s slippers from an antique shop. Unwillingly, you’ll start choosing longer and round about ways to your office and increase the rate of moving because you’ll start looking like an idiot. At your work station you might want to experiment with roller blades or buzz like a bee.


6.  Declare war to your mother-in-law. Although it won’t improve your chances for success in the never-ending war of attrition at home, the silent war-time-like atmosphere will increase your energy expenditure by at least 50%.


7.  Commence granting all wishes of your wife and kids. This will inevitably ruin your sleep, finances and leisure time but it warrants a two-fold increase in calories expenditure.


8.  The only things you are allowed to have in excessive amount are sex and laugh. Ironically, however, what is the most efficacious means is the hardest to have as watching porno films is not considered as an option. Lacking a sense of humour diminishes your chances for success although anger will burn off a fair amount of calories in addition.


9.  Start being upfront to other people. Everybody will think you are a fool thereby giving you a free hand to do whatever stupid things you want. This is going to be the most interesting and the most harmonious part of your life. The stress - one of the primary causes for your overweight - will be dealt with.


10.  If all previous tips fail to help you, damage the scales and take to speculate on the exchange. After you go bankrupt the problem with your overweight will stop bothering you.

 

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